N3RDs For A Cure

Becky stares at me blankly. She is now coherent enough to recognize that I’m fully dressed, my eyes are puffy from sobbing like a motherless child, and she feels a wetness under her that tells her she’s wet the bed.

“What?”

I try again. This is the second time we’ve had this conversation – the first time, she fell back asleep immediately.

“You’ve had a seizure.”

“Are you serious?”

I can’t even answer because I’m fighting back tears, so I merely nod my head. I take a moment to blow my nose and regain my composure and start again.

“While you were sleeping, you slipped into a seizure. I woke up to you thrashing and making noise. I’ve called your mom and the doctor. We’re going to take you to the hospital.”

We’re okay, I tell myself. It was a seizure, and it was scary, but it’s over now, right? No harm done?

And then she looks at me with fear in her eyes. “You’re going to think this is dumb… but what day is it?”

The part of me that was in control throws up his hands and the tears start flowing.

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You’re going to have to forgive me. Normally, every year the MS Walk (or Walk MS, this year) comes around and I write some tear-jerk story about how much of a struggle life is and how we’re doing the best we can.

I can’t do that this year.

It’s not that there haven’t been struggles this year – just last week Becky was bedridden with horrific diarrhea and vomiting that we were both terrified was going to be a relapse that would see her hospitalized again. We spent the night holding each other, trying to be brave and not bawl too loudly. But Becky recovered the next day and was back – if not bounDing, at least bounCing around the house. She was merely going through an “adjustment” as she switched from Beta Seron to Copaxone medications for her MS. But here we are, a week later, and I cannot get into a somber state of mind to write some sad story because Becky had me in tears today, I was laughing so hard.

I can’t imagine you will have much sympathy when I try to tell you how hard it is being in love with a beautiful woman who can make you laugh so hard you get dizzy. There’s not a lot of support groups out there for people like me, I’m afraid. I shall just have to endure!

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